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A controversial, brave and revealing insight into the realities of drug addiction, from one of New York´s most remarkable young writers

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´I was twenty-six years old and an associate beauty editor at Lucky, one of the top fashion magazines in America. That´s all that most people knew about me. But beneath the surface, I was full of secrets: I was a drug addict, for one. A pillhead. I was also an alcoholic-in-training who guzzled warm Veuve Clicquot after work alone in my boss´s office with the door closed; a conniving and manipulative uptown doctor-shopper; a salami-and-provolone-puking bulimic who spent a hundred dollars a day on binge foods when things got bad (and they got bad often); a weepy,wobbly, wildly hallucination-prone insomniac; a tweaky self-mutilator; a slutty and self-loathing downtown party girl; and - perhaps most of all - a lonely weirdo. But, you know, I had access to some really fantastic self-tanner.´

By the age of 15, Cat Marnell longed to work in the glamorous world of women´s magazines - but was also addicted to the ADHD meds prescribed by her father. Within 10 years she was living it up in New York as a beauty editor at Condé Nast, with a talent for ´doctor-shopping´ that secured her a never-ending supply of prescriptions. Her life had become a twisted merry-go-round of parties and pills at night, while she struggled to hold down her high-profile job during the day.

Witty, magnetic and penetrating - prompting comparisons to Bret Easton Ellis and Charles Bukowski - Cat Marnell reveals essential truths about her generation, brilliantly uncovering the many aspects of being an addict with pin-sharp humour and beguiling style.
´New York´s enfant terrible...Her talent has resided in her uncanny ability to write about addiction from the untidy, unsafe, unhappy epicentre of the disease, rather than from some writerly remove.´ Telegraph

´I LOVE this book´ Catriona Innes, Cosmopolitan Magazine UK

´An unputdownable, brilliantly written rollercoaster´ Shappi Khorsandi

´Brilliantly written and harrowing and funny and honest´ Louise France, Times Magazine UK

´Easily one of the most anticipated memoirs of the year...[Marnell´s] got an inimitable style (and oh my god, so many have tried) and a level of talent so high, it´s impossible not to be rooting for her.´ NYLON

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"Marnell recounts parties and drugs and sex in writing that mirrors the experience of being on drugs - sometimes fizzing ... and, just as often, cold and blunt and brutal" Guardian

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